This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous woman.”Haadith
The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does
him good and not evil all the days of her life. (Prov. 31:11-12)“
Alhamdulilah when I finally decided to embrace the role Allah has given me, I felt so much relief. Having been married for 5 years mashaAllah I was not always into the idea of homemaking, alhamdulilah Allah has blessed me to be completely happy and satisfied with this beautiful role.
The Journey Was Not Easy:
I married at 23, for the second time. After getting a divorce I was used to doing my own thing. Freely moving about, having my own job, my own place and when I remarried I did not realize how much this shaped some of my views. I was not used to hearing what I could and could not do. Cooking cleaning and doing things the way my husband enjoyed it was foreign to me and surely not a practice amongst my closest peers
Happily Married & Homemaking:
Allah has opened my heart to the role that women were created for. We are here to be our husbands helpers, to obey them, serve and care for them. Women can be thrown off by the word serve but service is a virtuous act and there is nothing wrong with aiding our husbands and taking care of his needs.
There are many hadith that show the importance of honoring and respecting our husbands. Do we truly understand the weight of these words:
“If I were to order anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have ordered women to prostrate to their husbands.” Hadith
‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) asked Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam): “Who has the greatest rights over a woman?” He said, “Her husband.” She asked, ‘And who has the greatest rights over a man?” He said, “His mother.”Hadith
Once we truly follow these hadith we will find our marriages to be truly blessed and a blessing. After asking Allah to make my marriage better and stronger alhamdulilah I can say that after respecting his role as a husband and understanding mine, things have gotten much better.
We know who wants our marriages to fail and families to be in chaos...Shaytan (May Allah curse him)
Shaytans goal is to destory marriages and break families apart. Shaytan does this by whispering to families and causing some serious D words: discord, disunity and dysfunction! which leads to the culmination of all the D words...divorce and we need to promote keeping our families healthy, spiritual and together.
One of the ways to keeping our marriages strong and spiritually strong is to look to our beautiful woman in the time of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salaam and read Allah's words on marriage and the hadith the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salaam shared for our benefit.
So when will we listen?
Please Do not feel like homemaking is a role that is inadequate and meaningless. Women in the past have done so much for their homes.
Hadith- Al-Zubayr married me, and he had no wealth, no slaves, nothing except his horse. I used to feed his horse, looking after it and exercising it. I crushed date-stones to feed his camel. I used to bring water and repair the bucket, and I used to make bread but I could not bake it, so some of my Ansari neighbors, who were kind women, used to bake it for me. I used to carry the dates from the garden that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had given to al-Zubayr on my head, and this garden was two-thirds of a farsakh away.
This hadith continues on but here we see that Asma bint Abu Bakr radiAllahu anha actively helped her husband. It is a beautiful and noble quality to devote ourselves to our husband, children, and community and the best of women did it!
A friend of mine said that "After pleasing my Lord, I enjoy pleasing my husband" do we enjoy pleasing our husbands and do we hold them in the high value they should be in? It is not always easy but we must strive to.
I now wake up each morning and read some motivational words to start my day, hadith on homemaking, Bible verses, women homemking blogs alhamdulilah they all have benefited me and I am happier than I have been in 5 years.
The road less traveled?
I thought I was alone in Islamic homemaking but have found so much comfort in the hadith of beautiful women such as Sayida Fatima radiAllahu anha that worked hard for her family and I am amazed and moved by the hadith, I have been reading every day. I know this is something Allah is pleased with and my family benefits from it.
Pleasing our husbands is a matter of heaven or hell, so where do we want to end up? When our husbands leave out the door are they angry or happy? Whatever our position is with our husband and he happens to die, says a lot!
A woman came to ask the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He asked her, “How are you with him?” She said, “I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me.” He said, “Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.”
I pray Allah guide us all into to becoming better at our wifely duties. Our souls depend on it :)