As salamu alaykum to The Struggling wife....
You are the heart of the home. You are his support, his cheerleader, and he needs you to be by his side. Do you know how important you are to him and to your home?
You are worth more than you know. It may not be said often, but without you... Life would be a little more difficult.
I know you're struggling right now to be a better wife and I know you want to do better. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.
Keep asking Allah to guide you in becoming a better wife. Realize that you have a lot of worth and your husband knows it, he married you, he knew you were the woman who could make his life better.
Write down what you can do to make your marriage better and focus on that daily. He put you with this man, that you love, that you decided to marry. You made a commitment, and you said "I am his committed helper." so keep going! Yes it's not always easy, sometimes you want to leave... But you are a strong, praying woman. You are setting the example for your children and for your community. We need more long lasting loving marriages. We need unity. Not only do our homes benefit but the world benefits.
It is your face your husband will see that can make or break his spirit. What kind of looks are you giving? You won't have peace and joy until your mind and heart is filled with goodwill and good actions towards your husband, and ask yourself, are you truly committed to becoming a better spouse?
Ask Him to guide you
Learn to understand and appreciate him
Marriage is a gift from Allah, honor The Giver and appreciate the gift. Remember "a wise woman builds her home and a foolish one tears hers down" what is the wisest thing to do? Are you building daily? Are you making deposits or are you constantly making withdrawals?
Get more support by being around women who will inspire and motivate you towards good. I have probably less than three women who are my marriage motivators... They love Allah and they are committed to having a marriage He is pleased with. Do you have these kind of women in your life? Elders who impart wise advice are also gems that we must treasure and learn from.
Wake up daily with good intentions, gratitude in your heart, and the readiness to be what your man wants.
He knows you're strong, he knows that without you life wouldn't be the same, and he loves you. He wants you, he wants you to help him, not hurt him... He also doesn't want you to hurt. He needs you to be clear, he can't read your mind, but he need you to express it in a gentle womanly manner.
He knows you have a lot going on, But don't be afraid to gently remind him that you need more of his love and support.
You are his blessing, gift, and soul mate.
I understand some days it may feel hard and you feel close to breaking ... But don't break... Bend in prayer.
He is in control, and when you feel like falling, He will lift you up! Don't doubt it. He didn't put you where you are so you can give up on Him. Trust Him, He has a purpose for you... You are where you need to be for a reason! What is the reason? Think about it.
Is your husband struggling in a area that you aren't ? Then you can help him!
How blessed are we that we can provide help to those in need!!?
You will "reap a good harvest if you don't give up!" keep planting the seeds of love, prayer, trust and goodness. And the harvest of your marriage will be the sweetest fruit of your heart and joy.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Monday, June 29, 2015
Alhamdulilah we are super excited and each pregnancy always motivates my homemaking. One pregnancy got me into baking bread, the other into knitting, and so on... This time I'm spinning wool and still knitting alhamdulilah!!
Isn't it amazing what we are blessed to do with our hands!? We can use to do so much in our home! Let us not take for granted this gift from Allah. And let's use our gift to bless others.
The children also had the experience to help prepare the wool for spinning. They thought it was the coolest thing ever!
Are you using your hands to help, build, and be of service? I get so much joy gifting someone homemade jam and handmade items. It takes time and love that a store cannot produce. I'm excited to see how the baby shoes turn out.
Last year I knitted shoes that I will pass down to our next little one inshaAllah... Here's our son, one year later with his shoes on:
Alhamdulilah I'm excited to start the other shoes with home spun wool mashaAllah! What have you made with your hands? Homemaking can be extra memorable, when you add a special homemade touch. You touch the lives around you when make and give from your heart.
Alhamdulilah I'm thankful to my good friend for mailing me the wool (isn't that cool?) and teaching me how to clean it. When we work with our hands we are producing something that is extra special. I went a thrift store and saw scarves for sale and I thought... Who was the person who made this? This person did a beautiful job... Each detail... Each turn of the knitting or crochet needles ... Produced this beautiful gift. And whomever buys this scarf is truly benefiting from handmade blessings. And if you purchase it... It was meant for you!
I don't know if we are having a girl or boy, but what I do know is that their feet will be warm with love that mommy made inshaAllah and I'm honored that He is blessing me with the motivation and desire to build my home with my hands.
My hands will help you up..
My hands will rub your back when you're feeling down..
My hands will high five you, because you are awesome...
My hands will feed you..
My hands will hold yours...
My hands will be raised up when I make duaa for you....
May He bless our hands to serve our families and others in a way that He pleased.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
This could be a number of things!
Alhamdulilah I believe I'm being called to serve my community in various ways. My herbalist and aromatherapist training is to be used to serve others and alhamdulilah I believe homemaking is a calling that we must answer.
No, We can't hang up, disconnect and ignore the call. Its time to answer, reconnect, and act, with a renewed purpose.
He put us here, in our home. He blessed us with the children who we see every day, He gave us a spouse to help and love. And He knows what He is doing... He chose you to take care of these gifts and for this purpose, we should feel honor and appreciation SubhanAllah.
Answer the call!
You can truly begin to answer the call by telling yourself, you can do this! He gives you just what you need, He knows what you can handle. And as soon as you realize that you can handle it, the sooner you'll have a better handle of your home ;)
He has given us the tools to help us handle it. Organizing, cleaning, schedules etc... The resources are out there. You don't have to feel overwhelmed but you do have to feel in control of your homemaking blessings. Start slowly and seek out those tools to help you.
Realise that homemaking is more than cooking, and cleaning. Our purpose in this area is more than a hot meal. Its about healing, nurturing, and supporting. Healing the body with healthy foods, nurturing their hearts with joy and emotionally providing uplifting words to ease their troubles. Supporting them in their growth and development and gently directing them along the way. Homemaking goes beyond the laundry. Its about having blessings and taking care of them in the best ways.
Our Lord made no mistakes!
We sometimes say this phrase "I'm a stay at home mom." I never use this term anyone... I respond "I'm a service at home mom." He has placed me here and I provide a variety of services alhamdulilah!
He is great and He knows best! I ask Him to guide all my steps because service is no light work :)
When should you stop avoiding the call?
Right now! Pick up, put your heart in it, and recommit. Today, change how you view your homemaking and you will see changes. Its not always easy, but He is always there.
Surround yourself with women who are answering the call... Get that motivation and advice you need so you can better fulfill your purpose.
I'm blessed with very few women who help me in this area, and I'm so thankful for their advice alhamdulilah.
He is calling us ... To do this "job" and He wants us to do it in a way that He is pleased with, in a way that He is remembered, and with our hearts.