Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Remember Who Your Husband Is

On the eve of our 9th year anniversary, I'm doing a lot of reflecting. I saw a blog post entitled "Remember Who Your Husband Is." and the title stood out to me but in a different way so I decided to write my own post. I'm reflecting on nine years of marriage and who my husband is.

So who is he?

Lets remember ..

He is a gift from Allah.

Allah blessed me with him and it is my great honor to take care of my gift.
He is not to be abused, mistreated, and taken for granted. Allah has put us together and  for that I'm thankful Alhamdulilah. I'm here to assist him in the best way possible. Allah did not burden me with him, He did not curse me, but what He did do is bless me Alhamdulilah! When you know you are blessed you show gratitude!

He is the leader of our home.

Not only did Allah send me this gift. He also put me under his leadership. In remembering who he is, we must remember and respect his position of leadership. We should always pray that Allah is constantly guiding our husbands, and that we are doing our part in assisting them, following instructions, and not always resisting or being rebellious. A leader... has at times, tough decisions to make and doesn't need a team that is not truly being supportive, in fact, that's not what a team does. As we remember daily who our husbands are, we must also pray that Allah guides us to act accordingly.

He is the shepherd of his flock.

He guides us in the right direction, making sure no one strays away, and he protects his flock. This is quite a job! SubhanAllah! As a shepherd he provides for the flock, what they need. He cares for the flocks well being and tends to their many needs. Being in unison helps keep the flock moving forward, together. There's harmony and peace in the home when we remember this. And we help our husbands by being a flock that's in tune with the shepherd. What goals and direction does your husband have for the flock? Are we helping them accomplish this?

He is the spiritual leader.

Our part in this is being supportive, and encouraging his spiritual growth. A husband who wants to be closer to Allah, fears Allah and loves Allah, will be a just husband. He will want to continuously learn and teach what He has learnt. We should gratefully and attentively listen. In the midst of working on his own soul, he is concerned for his families spiritual state of being and part of his mission is keeping the family rightly guided. His growth is our growth. Helping him balance all these important positions, may not be easy, but seriously taking it one day at a time is setting the tone for the future of our families.

In reflecting on he is, helps me to remember part of my purpose in what Allah wants from me as a wife.

I'm thankful for the nine years we have spent together. The test, the lessons and all the blessings that came along with it Alhamdulilah. We are stronger because of it, and truly I believe we will reap a good harvest, because we won't and didn't give up Alhamdulilah!

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

As salamu alaykum To The Struggling Wife

As salamu alaykum to The Struggling wife....





You are the heart of the home. You are his support, his cheerleader, and he needs you to be by his side. Do you know how important you are to him and to your home?

You are worth more than you know. It may not be said often, but without you... Life would be a little more difficult.

I know you're struggling right now to be a better wife and I know you want to do better. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Keep asking Allah to guide you in becoming a better wife. Realize that you have a lot of worth and your husband knows it, he married you, he knew you were the woman who could make his life better.

Write down what you can do to make your marriage better and focus on that daily. He put you with this man, that you love, that you decided to marry. You made a commitment, and you said "I am his committed helper." so keep going! Yes it's not always easy, sometimes you want to leave... But you are a strong, praying woman. You are setting the example for your children and for your community. We need more long lasting loving marriages. We need unity. Not only do our homes benefit but the world benefits.

It is your face your husband will see that can make or break his spirit. What kind of looks are you giving? You won't have peace and joy until your mind and heart is filled with goodwill and good actions towards your husband, and ask yourself, are you truly committed to becoming a better spouse?

Ask Him to guide you

Learn to understand and appreciate him

Marriage is a gift from Allah, honor The Giver and appreciate the gift.  Remember "a wise woman builds her home and a foolish one tears hers down" what is the wisest thing to do? Are you building daily? Are you making deposits or are you constantly making withdrawals?

Get more support by being around women who will inspire and motivate you towards good.  I have probably less than three women who are my marriage motivators... They love Allah and they are committed to having a marriage He is pleased with. Do you have these kind of women in your life? Elders who impart wise advice are also gems that we must treasure and learn from.

Wake up daily with good intentions, gratitude in your heart, and the readiness to be what your man wants.

He knows you're strong, he knows that without you life wouldn't be the same, and he loves you. He wants you, he wants you to help him, not hurt him... He also doesn't want you to hurt. He needs you to be clear, he can't read your mind, but he need you to express it in a gentle womanly manner.
He knows you have a lot going on, But don't be afraid to gently remind him that you need more of his love and support.

You are his blessing, gift, and soul mate.
I understand some days it may feel hard and you feel close to breaking ... But don't break... Bend in prayer.

He is in control, and when you feel like falling, He will lift you up! Don't doubt it. He didn't put you where you are so you can give up on Him. Trust Him, He has a purpose for you... You are where you need to be for a reason! What is the reason? Think about it.
Is your husband struggling in a area that you aren't ? Then you can help him!

How blessed are we that we can provide help to those in need!!?

You will "reap a good harvest if you don't give up!" keep planting the seeds of love, prayer, trust and goodness. And the harvest of your marriage will be the sweetest fruit of your heart and joy.




Monday, June 29, 2015

Working With My Hands

If you haven't heard, we are expecting our 7th blessing!

Alhamdulilah we are super excited and each pregnancy always motivates my homemaking. One pregnancy got me into baking bread, the other into knitting, and so on... This time I'm spinning wool and still knitting alhamdulilah!!

Isn't it amazing what we are blessed to do with our hands!? We can use to do so much in our home! Let us not take for granted this gift from Allah. And let's use our gift to bless others.

The children also had the experience to help prepare the wool for spinning.  They thought it was the coolest thing ever!

Are you using your hands to help, build, and be of service? I get so much joy gifting someone homemade jam and handmade items. It takes time and love that a store cannot produce. I'm excited to see how the baby shoes turn out.
Last year I knitted shoes that I will pass down to our next little one inshaAllah... Here's our son, one year later with his shoes on:
Alhamdulilah I'm excited to start the other shoes with home spun wool mashaAllah! What have you made with your hands? Homemaking can be extra memorable, when you add a special homemade touch. You touch the lives around you when make and give from your heart.

Alhamdulilah I'm thankful to my good friend for mailing me the wool (isn't that cool?) and teaching me how to clean it. When we work with our hands we are producing something that is extra special. I went a thrift store and saw scarves for sale and I thought... Who was the person who made this? This person did a beautiful job... Each detail... Each turn of the knitting or crochet needles ... Produced this beautiful gift. And whomever buys this scarf is truly benefiting from handmade blessings. And if you purchase it... It was meant for you!

I don't know if we are having a girl or boy, but what I do know is that their feet will be warm with love that mommy made inshaAllah and I'm honored that He is blessing me with the motivation and desire to build my home with my hands.

My hands will help you up..
My hands will rub your back when you're feeling down..
My hands will high five you, because you are awesome...
My hands will feed you..
My hands will hold yours...
My hands will be raised up when I make duaa for you....

May He bless our hands to serve our families and others in a way that He pleased.

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