The Loving Helpmate
Week 1: The Muslimah Wife Is A Loving Helpmate
On my trip to Baltimore I decided to reflect on my marriage, my role as a mom and having been married 6 years, I took a trip through memory lane. Looking to see what improvements may need to be made and how far I have come. Alhamdulilah my husband honestly told me how far I have come and while I still have some ways to go, he has seen so much good mashaAllah!
I remember in the beginning of our marriage we were not on the same page. For awhile it was do me...do you.. and I'm already there, you need to catch up kind of thing. My husband constantly wanted to be in unison and for awhile I was not getting it. I asked myself "Am I being a good help mate?" I ask you to ask yourself the same question. SubhanAllah sometimes we think we are helping but we are really hurting.
To be a better helpmate we can use kind words to encourage our husbands. Wake up and gently remind them of the day goals, say encouraging words to get them going and be in constant duaa. What goals can you help your husband accomplish for the week? How can you make his day easier? Help him prepare.
How to be a good helpmate:
1.) Say words that will help and not hurt
2.) Use your hands for building and not destroying
3.) Follow the directions of your husband and not always go against him
4.) Give 100% effort in making your bond strong ... let go resentments no grudges
5.) Pray constantly
Theres a hadith that goes: Abu Hurairah reports Prophet Muhammad salAllahu alayhi wa salaam said: Each join in the body has a sadaqa that is mandatory upon it every day that the sun rises: to act justly between two people is sadaqa, to help a man up on his riding animal or lift his stuff up onto it for him is sadaqah, the good kind word is sadaqa and with every step you walk to the masjid is sadaqa, and to pick up a harmful item from the middle of the path is sadaqa
This week: Think of ways to help him accomplish his goals. Ask him what does he need and if you know- then take steps to help him accomplish it.
Use love, patience and prayer to be the help he needs.
Ask yourself: are you a good help mate? and ask Allah to help you get better at helping those in your life. Also ask what is holding you back? and work to remove those barriers