Monday, October 8, 2012

R E S P E C T-- Respecting Your Husband

Alhamdulilah week two in our Sweet Sunnahs Of Marriage series has to do with respect. I am sure many of you have heard the song RESPECT and she says in the song "find out what it means to me." well let's talk about what it means to him

MashaAllah marriage is a wonderful union between two people and in order for that marriage to work and grow, we should respect each other.
Our husbands are the head and leaders of the family. They deserve respect and order. SOME of us respect our bosses at work more than our husbands, astagfirllah. The blessings in respecting our husband is not only pleasing to Allah but you are making your marriage better. He wants, loves, and appreciates a woman that will respect him and value the man he is (all that is good) and will help him grow into more.

1.) Trust- this has a lot to do with respect. Trust that your husband is making good decisions and always pray Allah guides your husband to make the best decisions. When we act as though we know more and know best, it makes our husband feel less. It takes real tact and finesse to be able to expression concern in your husbands decisions without being offensive and disrespectful.

2.) Honor him- keep his secrets and say good words about him to yourself and others. He may not have qualities you like but I pray he has many more that you do like. What moved your heart to marry him? What does he do that puts a smile on your face? Keep pleasant speech about your husband and strive not to fall into the .. "he aint never..." "he is so ungrateful..." category there is a hadith that says:

Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The Prophet said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you." Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 28


3.) In respecting our husbands, we must use a speech that shows it. Yep, holding back your tongue is not always easy. but what would you rather? To say harsh words that harm his heart or to keep back from that and choose peace instead? Not everything is worth fighting about, and how draining it is and unproductive it can be to be at odds with your spouse


"I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a home in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannahfor one who has good manners.''
[Abu Dawud]




4.)  This week inshaAllah show that you respect your husband.... if he says something- show true interest in what he is saying and compliment him about it. Really listen to his cares, concerns and thoughts. Give him positive feedback and be the support he needs. There are many enemies in the world but no one wants to live with them in their home!

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