Day in and day out there is someone posting on Facebook, either they are saying their next move in life, their quote of the day or sharing some link that moved them in some kind of way.
Often times you will find people conducting in the worst ways on a social networking site such as Facebook or twitter. Our last Sundays Sister Circle we talked about how we can allow Facebook to be a place to make our marriages and relationships worse. I often say Facebook is what you make it and alhamdulilah it has been such a blessed experience for me and my family, as we use it to help others and help our selves.
Others make it an outlet to vent their lifes issues, talk about others, and really cause social havoc. Social media should not be used to broadcast marital woes and bash your husband (or anyone else). We have a trust with our spouse and that includes upholding his honor. When we type those words of anger and frustration then click share, we are now telling the whole world about our husbands faults or friends and family, we are showing how we do not respect our husband or others, and thus making the whole family look bad. Now when you have calmed down and everything is back to lovey dovey mode we delete the status message and move on, but those who remember and even responded to what you said about your husband will now look at your husband in a different light and also know what you and your family are going through.
10 Ways to conduct yourself on Social Networking
- Think before you type- So simple yet so hard, before you share that post about your family or husband, ask yourself to what end? what benefit? and what's the use? Chances are you will find that 9 times out of 10 your post will do more harm than good.
- Intentions- what do you intend behind what you are saying. If you are posting out of anger and frustration than logout and go make wudu, we seem to be quicker to post than we are quicker to pray about it.
- For better or for worse- Use social networking for the better. Find those ayats and join those hadith a day groups to increase your iman. Then when you run into a marital bump and you log on to vent, you will have a better reason to login you can go get some Divine inspiration and not Shaytanic suggestions. Recite Surah Nas and ask Allah to protect you from the waswas- whispers of Shaytan
- The scales- Will our post weigh heavily on our good deeds or our bad deeds. "A slave (of Allah) may utter a word which pleases Allah without giving it much importance, and because of that Allah will raise him to degrees (of reward): a slave (of Allah) may utter a word (carelessly) which displeases Allah without thinking of its gravity and because of that he will be thrown into the Hell-Fire."-Hadith
- Islam- Believe it or not but others who may or may not be Muslim tend to look at the way people conduct themselves in Islam and use it make decisions about Islam. How are we making Islam look? How are we making our Muslim brother and sisters look? Our actions are dawah, what we say can be dawah and it effects everyone!
- WWPMD- What would Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa salaam do? The ayat in the Quran says "You all certianly have in the Messenger of Allah (salallahu alayhi wa salaam) a really good example to follow (Surah 33-21) Our Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salaam displayed the best of conduct and character in all situations "Say if you do love Allah then follow me Allah will (in turn) love you and forgive your sins" Surah 3-31
- Trust- We have a trust with our husbands (family and friendships) and that includes how we treat them on the internet and in person. We are to respect our husbands and others, we do not want to fall in category of backbiting and slander which is a major sin that many to be minor. "O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allâh. Verily, Allâh is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful. (Surah Hujraat 49, Ayat 12)
- Remember the day of grief and regrets- On a day where you can't take back the words you said, we must remember this day will come and alhamdulilah we have today, make this the day to stop and make a plea to Allah to guide us to the best words and actions
- Keep good company- even online! Some people enjoy fitnah and will be quick to aid you and support your post that may not be the best post. These people will also spread your troubles amongst others and their intent is to talk about the latest gossip. Surround yourself with beautiful sisters that will remind you of Allah and give you true right and Islamic advice.
- Duaa- If you feel as though you must vent, it's best to vent in the form of a duaa, for example "May Allah help our wives or husbands to treat their families better as the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salaam was the best to his family alayhi salaatullah." or "May Allah help our husbands and wives to _________" because of instead of talking about so and so we should pray for them and ourselves.
Use social media and be socially acceptable in the sight of Allah!