There is a list online that I read that have some qualities that the 1950's wives strove for..so I will share a few:
- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
- Be a little happy and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
- Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
- Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
- Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
- Be happy to see him.
I absolutely love this list and it is so sad that as we are in the year 2011, a lot of women have become the opposite. I have been reading about this 1950's wife and what has changed since then...
Now not all women today are all that bad, alhamdulilah many of us strive to have the type of relationship that we honor our husband and family and keep Allah in much remembrance, but we must admit times have changed. It has become a "You can't tell me what to do" "I'm a grown woman.." "I don't need you.." "I can do better by myself..." "It's my way or the highway.." kind of mentality for some women..and they will speak to their husbands any kind of way, call the police on them, and say they run the house. SubhanAllah oh how times have changed for these women..pots and pan being thrown, disrespecting manhood and walking out and over our husbands has become acceptable. They stay out all night, and come and go when they feel like it.
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The Prophet said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you." Sahih Bukhari,
SubhanAllah what are we finding in today's modern wife? Certainly not ENOUGH behavior that is worthy of Jannah. (SOME cases not all) Thank Allah for being a Muslimah wife, as we have always been taught these ways that the 1950's women were doing... Islam has not changed and our roles as women in Islam have not changed, we must strive to not let the modern way, in its negative forms and influences become part of our life, our homes, and relationships. Alhamdulilah our Beloved Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salaam told us how important our husbands are and how they are our Jannah or Hellfire.
"“ Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘There are three people whose prayers will not be accepted, neither their good works: a disobedient slave until he returns to his masters and puts his hand in theirs; a woman whose husband is angry with her, until he is pleased with her again; and the drunkard, until he becomes sober.’”
Modern women who do not have these Islamic values, do not value their husbands and do not see the importance of their husbands role in their life. Alhamdulilah though some women who are not Muslim still live up to the Proverbs 31 mentality and honor their husbands, I have benefited from those words greatly.. .as they remind me even from their Biblical standpoint that these words hold true still in Islam.
Alhamdulilah Islam and the words of how we should be to our husbands have not changed, let us not be fooled by society so called liberation. Rumi says once you become a slave to Allah then you are free. We do this all for the pleasure of Allah, it may not be popular with the masses but with Allah is the best reward.