Skip to main content

Learning To Co- Pilot

We made a commitment...

When I married him I agreed that he would be the head of our home, that he is the imam of our home and I am under his leadership.

When entering marriage we are saying these things, not verbally (an sometimes verbally), but we know that with such a commitment there are things to be expected.

 Every job has a boss, someone that makes the decisions and in our home our husband has the final say he is in charge.

That does not mean we do not have a say, we can politely express our concerns and questions but the final say belongs to our husband. May Allah help us to respect that and be peaceful about it.

So we have to learn to be better co- pilots alhamdulilah, because sometimes we have the tendency to speak in a way that can insult our husbands leadership and not trust that he is making good decisions for our family.

Once we have expressed our concerns, questions etc and our husband still goes in the direction he chooses for the family then just pray Allah is guiding him and opens our hearts and eyes to what is going on, because we may not understand why our husband is doing x, y,and z ... if we were to understand it will help us receive it better.

When striving to advise our husbands it may be better to ask questions, not say "It's better to do it this way!" "Do this, don't do that!!" but say "Do you think it would work if we did it like this?" now we are showing him what we want and still giving him his right to make the final decision.

So this reminds me of the hadith on the importance of being obedient when we may question it:

 Anas bin Malik (radi Allahu anhu) reported from the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) that a man told his wife, as he was leaving his house, not to go out in his absence. Her father lived in the lower portion of the house and she lived in the upper portion. Her father fell ill so she sent a message and asked Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) what to do. He told her to obey her husband. Her father died, so she asked from the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) again regarding her case. He told her again to obey her husband. Then he (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) sent her a message saying, ‘Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) has forgiven your father due to your obedience of your husband.” [Mujamah]

Wow subhanAllah ..how many of us would have had a hard time listening to our husband in this situation? Some of us may have left any way, ignoring our husbands orders astagfirllah... but subhanAllah look how the father was rewarded due to his daughters obedience to her husband.

There are much blessings in listening to our husbands and being patient with their leadership.

Can we learn to better co-pilots ? For the sake of healthy happy marriages and families we should! To please our Lord, we must!





Comments

  1. SubhanAllah! I think this post was meant for me. Thank you sis, for this great reminder. I think that as women who grow up in western societies, we are so used to doing our own thing and following our own rules. I definitely have a hard time with this in my own marriage, and I pray that Allah make me a more obedient wife instead of controlling...a trait that I'm learning does more harm than good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sister I totally agree with your I feel the same way about this post Masha Allah sister Ameera.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Let's keep it positive, what's on your mind?

Popular posts from this blog

The Passing Of A Prince

One month later...  If you would have told me, that I would be eventually blogging as a widow, I would have probably said that I couldn't imagine it!

Well here I am, writing as a widow. My husband (may Allah have mercy on him, and grant him jannah ameen ameen) passed away last month, December 20th, 2016, from complications from his condition.  My whole life changed and I am learning to heal and process this tremendous loss with our six children.

I met my husband in 2006 mashaAllah, and as I like to tell people, I started this adventure 10 yrs ago when I met a Prince from Kings County (Brooklyn NYC) married him, and became his princess alhamdulilah. When we first met, I felt like "wow this handsome guy, I cant believe he is even giving me the time of day." Lord knows I am thankful for all the time of our days, our road trips, and adventures.

I think of an old status message I shared on facebook
" I've dedicated ten years of my heart to this loveable adventurous g…

5 Ways To Love Your Husband MORE

I had to blow the dust off the blog tonight, as I only write when I am feeling inspired. SubhanAllah, tonight feels like a good night to share a few thoughts on the blog.
How can you, love your husband more?


1.) Speak words that will uplift his spirit. I remember when I would be feeling nervous, and anxious about some event, and my husband (may Allah have mercy on him, ameen) would say encouraging words, that made me feel like the most confident woman in the world. We have the ability to be that voice of encouragement in our mates lives. What mountains we cannot move, when our spouse speaks life into our being! Through out the day, speak to your mate in a way that will help them be better. 
2.) Put your love into action: Yes you can say "I love you" all day long, but adding to that by doing loving gestures, show and prove what we feel inside. Surprising our spouse by writing a love note, or sending a loving text, adds a little more joy to their days. In a world where there …

As salamu alaykum To The Struggling Wife

As salamu alaykum to The Struggling wife....





You are the heart of the home. You are his support, his cheerleader, and he needs you to be by his side. Do you know how important you are to him and to your home?

You are worth more than you know. It may not be said often, but without you... Life would be a little more difficult.

I know you're struggling right now to be a better wife and I know you want to do better. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Keep asking Allah to guide you in becoming a better wife. Realize that you have a lot of worth and your husband knows it, he married you, he knew you were the woman who could make his life better.

Write down what you can do to make your marriage better and focus on that daily. He put you with this man, that you love, that you decided to marry. You made a commitment, and you said "I am his committed helper." so keep going! Yes it's not always easy, sometimes you want to leave... But you are a strong, praying woman. …