Homemaking With Boys
Alhamdulilah as a mom of four children, three boys and one girl I believe it is important for all of them to learn the importance of homemaking. I know the wonderful blessing of being my husbands help-mate and him being mine in return. We call ourselves Team Rahim, and everything we do in our home has a lot to do with team effort. Sometimes we live in a house with someone but we act as though we are living alone. Some of us tend to act like roommates and not helpmates. Everyone is for themselves. This is not productive to our marriages, home, and family to act like this.
I want my boys to grow up being resourceful in and out of the home. If they are married and their wife becomes pregnant and too tired, I want my boys to be able to help with cooking, cleaning, and being a good support system to their wife. Even when she is not pregnant, part of having mercy on others is to help them and I want my boys to be helpful as well.
In a hadith Aishia radiAllahu anha was asked about the activities of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salaam at home. She told him that he was occupied with them in the household work. (Bukhari).
Yesterday I was folding the laundry and very pleased when the boys asked to fold clothes. I taught them how to properly fold their shirts and my four year old folded a lot of his clothes and I put them away alhamdulilah! It's never too young to introduce our boys to homemaking.
Even at their young ages (4, 3, and 1) they sit in the kitchen, they help to make food that is simple for them and learn to appreciate what a woman does in the home. They often say thank you and request homemade bread, I love it because they appreciate what I have been blessed to make with my own hands alhamdulilah. This will help them appreciate everything their wives will do for them and respect them for it. As mothers and examples we are teaching our boys how to treat women and value their endless worth.
I read a hadith today that said "The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salaam used to tie knots & repair his shoes, sow his clothes, and do all such household works just like an average person among you does". And he said, "he was one of the human beings (who did not live like a boss or lord at home). He would check for lice on his clothes (that they may not have come from someone else). He would milk the goat, do other household works as well as his personal work".
Every day we can teach our boys about homemaking and begin to let them do activities around the home that will help them in a long run to be better spouses. It is also a blessing that our husbands express appreciation and our children can see healthy, halal, love and appreciation.
When I met my husband, he WAS (haha) cooking better than me, he already knew how to mend his clothes and have structure in the home. He taught me a lot of how to be a better homemaker and alhamdulilah it has been a blessing. We know enhance each other, if I cook ..he will add to it and make it better. I don't see it as he did not like it and so he has a problem with how I did things, I see it as he is enhancing it and putting a team, loving and enhancing addition to our meal.
Alhamdulilah He also does not mind cooking dinner and helping around the house, we tend to make both our jobs easier this way alhamdulilah.
I do feel as though homemaking is one of my main roles and it is a blessing to have support and help in that area.
How can we begin to teach our boys:
- Be an example- Our children should see us doing our homemaking task, but be mindful of how you do it, not in a resentful and frustrated way, but with delight and consistency. They will pick up how to cook and clean from us
- Give them daily instructions- everything in its place, so where do toys belong? books? and crayons? Teach children that after they are done with their things they must put them away in its proper place. This gives them responsibility for their things and organization.
- Husbands teach- Husbands play a big role in this, they can also lead by example and show the boys to be supportive, kind, and resourceful help-mates
- Team work- making sure our children know that more is done together rather than apart, they will realize the blessings of being a family. Family supports, help, and take care of one another. Getting children to do more team projects in the house is a good way to show how to work together
- Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa salaam- as we know he is our best example and we can sharre with our boys how he was in the home.