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The Passing Of A Prince

One month later...  If you would have told me, that I would be eventually blogging as a widow, I would have probably said that I couldn't imagine it!

Well here I am, writing as a widow. My husband (may Allah have mercy on him, and grant him jannah ameen ameen) passed away last month, December 20th, 2016, from complications from his condition.  My whole life changed and I am learning to heal and process this tremendous loss with our six children.

I met my husband in 2006 mashaAllah, and as I like to tell people, I started this adventure 10 yrs ago when I met a Prince from Kings County (Brooklyn NYC) married him, and became his princess alhamdulilah. When we first met, I felt like "wow this handsome guy, I cant believe he is even giving me the time of day." Lord knows I am thankful for all the time of our days, our road trips, and adventures.

I think of an old status message I shared on facebook
" I've dedicated ten years of my heart to this loveable adventurous guy from NYC. I believed in him when he doubted himself. I carried the team when our spirits were low SubhanAllah. For a slim 120 pound woman....I carried the load of everyone in my house SubhanAllah and He made strong to do it. I am far from weak and know my limits.

God is testing me and I need the strongest of duaas from my sisters 
I decided ten yrs ago to wake up to the same face everyday. In 10 yrs God blessed me to carry and nourish my husband's six sons.
When his health was/is tested. .. I had to step it up. Every day im grinding ...
I ask sometimes why He chose me? And its clear that God is keeping me together and showing me that when you make a commitment there will be test that may shake it but He made my roots firm. ...10 yrs my roots are deep. I've been planted in Idris' life and I've bloomed in beautiful ways. But
While my leaves are being pulled and my flower is falling...my roots are holding on.
Every day I harvest from my marriage and it has grown in many ways. Its also growing in a different direction now. Im seeking His divine wisdom."


If you have read our books on homemaking, you would know that I was not the same homemaker, I am today. My husband had a big part in that, he was patient and gentle, as I grew more and more into my role as a wife and homemaker.  Alhamdulilah and as the years passed in our relationship I wanted to get more homemaking inspiration. He encouraged me to start TMH and alhamdulilah it has been a big inspiration for me. I am so thankful I followed through with his advice.

My husband (may Allah have mercy on him ameen) always encouraged my studies, my herbal lessons and all my dreams and goals alhamdulilah. Needless to say, he has been as he would say.. my "biggest fan" I have never been too fond of the word fan, and would say he is my bestest (yes bestest) friend and number one supporter. I miss him dearly, and he is always on my mind, and when I think of him, which is often, I say a duaa for him. I ask Allah to send him to me in my dreams. The relationship I had with my husband, taught me so much and to this very moment, I hear his words in my head and heart...his advice and I use that to keep going... I see him every day in our sons. Who not only look like him, but act like him as well subhanAllah.

When Ameer Idris passed away, I became heartbroken. It was hard for me to tell the children, to talk to people, to even get out the bed. It is still hard to go about daily living,and adjusting to the new norm. I am comforted by my husband's constant advice, lessons, and memories. I cry daily, but I also pray for him every single day. This is a pain, I cannot describe, the emotions are many, and each day I am striving to just get through the day. God is getting me through, He is sending people, people of prayer, people of love, and people of light. I still listen to the last voicemail he left on my phone, when he didnt pick up when I called, when he returned my call and couldnt reach me, he left a message....telling me he missed my call because he was praying, and you have to give Allah his rights, and not put anything before Allah..... it's a beautiful reminder and way for me to hear his voice.

Born September 19th, God created a beautiful human being. He would walk the earth for 39 years, and during those years he would share with others  his love of Allah, Prophet Muhammad (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) and, oh my gosh subhanAllah... his constant speech was always reminders about Allah, he never had a conversation with someone where he didnt mention God. He would always bring everything back to Allah.  He is, as Shaykh Hamza described  "God- intoxicated"and would always teach me a duaa, surah, and read tafsir wit/h me and talked to me about his theology studies. I would spend hours listening to him, and discussing his views and learnings
Anyone who knew Ameer Idris, knew he spent a lot of time educating the people about the one true religion: Islam

As Imam Zaid Shakir said "Popularly known simply as Idris, he was deeply loved by all who knew him. He loved the scholars and people of Dawah dearly, beginning with his hometown Imam, Imam Siraj Wahhaj. Idris was a mainstay at Islamic educational programs. From Abiquiu, New Mexico; Hayward, California; Fez, Morocco; to Madina Munawwarah; no matter how far, Idris would find a way, in many instances a mysterious way, to be there. Idris himself was a mystery. A loving and beloved mystery.


Brother Idris was also a renowned street Da'i. He had written his own pamphlets and other Dawah materials and spent countless hours pounding the pavement explaining Islam to ordinary folks. Idris had a great affinity for the ordinary people who are sadly overlooked, at least in this country, by far too many Muslims.
May Allah forgive our dear brother for any sins or transgressions, and grant him Jannah. Brother Idris leaves his wife, Ameera Rahim, and six young children. May Allah make things easy for them and give them strength during these difficult days..."   (please say ameen)

SubhanAllah, I remember writing an article about him in sisters magazine about being married to a man on a mission:
A story my husband shared on his facebook page:
"Alhamdoo leellah, was self checking out at the grocery store & was short 42¢ ... So looked in my coat pocket & found 60¢ ... So uttered the words ... "God is good"& the helping cashier ... uttered "He is a good man" ... So we couldn't just let this one go ... So we responded "We don't say God is a man, we say He is The Good Lord, since all men die & God can never die" ... She seemed taken aback ... Then she gathered herself & said ... Ur right God can never die ... We affirmed her & said ... "He is The Ever Living" ... Alhamdoo leellah we live to give Dawah / Invitation to Proper Guidance. " -Ameer Idris Rahim



My husband was very big on keeping positive, he would wake up every single morning with a happy face, and greet me with a "As salamu alaykum, good morning my love." mashaAllah. He taught me how to keep trusting in Allah. One of our last text messages, he wrote to me said "You are never alone, you have Allah." he cared so much for the health of his soul and mine. Eventually we will all leave this earth, we pray that we are in a good state of being when we do leave. It is not always easy to accept, and in fact it is quite hard for me, but my prayer is that God gives me more ease and strength to continue.

Ten years of memories, and love shared, makes me thankful to Allah that He gave me such a wonderful person, and that we truly changed each other's lives. 

God showed me what it means to be committed, when my husband was first diagnosed, my load had intensified. When it comes to marriage...we make a promise to each other and God to be committed helpers of one another, and I was by his side through the ups and downs, the good health days and the hard ones, all the way until he died in my arms in December.

I am thankful for the out pour of the love and support me and the children have been getting ever since the world learned of his passing. While it is not easy for me to reach everyone that messaged, called, donated, sent gifts and cards and kept making duaa. I have to thank everyone here on this blog, thank you all so much for everything ...really....everything.  The tears you may have shed on my and the children's behalf, the heartache you have felt for this grieving family...subhanAllah it leaves me speechless how others are affected by our lives and wanting to remove the pain and hurt that we feel.... but because they cannot, they keep making duaa for us.

The children are grieving, as to be expected.... we spend our days singing songs my husband taught us, sharing memories and learning to celebrate the life my husband led... a God loving, God conscious, positive, peaceful, and full of service kind of life.


My husband always loved teaching the children at the Maqasid retreat and seeing his friend Shaykh Yahya Rhodus.


We are taking our grief, and inshaAllah turning it into doing more acts of service, and sadaqa that will benefit Ameer Idris in the akhirah. I pour my love that I have for him, in doing things that will honor him and benefit his soul ...May Allah accept it from us ameen. My goal is to live more of the dreams, my husband and I shared... once my heart is a little more healed... though it was always ache and long to be in his company....


What is next for us? God knows best, I only take things as slowly as possible. Still blogging, and working on healing. Making sure that the children and I are getting much tender loving care as possible and surrounding ourselves with family and friends who are making sure we are being taken care of alhamdulilah.

May Allah reward each and every one of you... I am speechless and thankful by the love we are receiving... my heart appreciates it. Cannot say for sure I expected it, but I can say for sure that I am grateful for every single thing...

InshaAllah I will continue to blog, and update everyone here... our journey, homemaking inspiration and our usual marriage thoughts and articles. Please keep lifting us in prayer.... we will continue to need it.

In the words of my late husband,,, may Allah have mercy on him, make his grave spacious and full of light ameen:

"Those who know better, having proper knowledge, know the greatest richness is contentment.
Being thankful for all we have & all we don't have.
Alhamdoo leellah hear Rabbil alameen = The Praise belongs to God-Allah, Lord of all the worlds...." - Ameer Idris Rahim

Comments

  1. Assalamu alaikum sister...Allah has blessed you with a wonderful family..goodness reaps goodness..so keep on his path of goodness..

    ReplyDelete
  2. Assalam Alai kum my darling sister. I am Naush from Dubai. Innallaha wa innailaihi rajioon. So sorry to hear of Brother Idris. My husband had survived cancer once, but till now, I feel like I walk on thin ice, knowing very well, that it can return. Dear sister, please pray for me as much as I pray for you. Your children, my heart goes out to them. May Allah swt ease their pain. I love you my dear sister in dee. May Allah swt make your road easier. Ameen.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mashallah my dear Siti Ameera. May Allah taala preserve you and your family.I love you for the sake of Allah taala.

    ReplyDelete
  4. May Allah grant our beautiful brother Idris Jannah firdous and may his beautiful children carry on his love and legacy in spreading the message of Islam to others and may Allah bless his widow with patience and strength.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Salamo alaykom sister, I have been following your blog for over two years and I am shocked and tears are flowing reading your husband has passed away. I've read in previous posts how much you look up to him and love him. May Allah reunite you and your family with him in Jannat al Firdaws. May Allah shower His Mercy on your husband. May Allah bless you and your family with patience and strength. Amin. Keep the saying in mind that a life on earth is like the the time between adhaan and iqamah. Life is short and the Hereafter eternal so keep your head up for the sake of Allah, for yourself and your children. I will keep you and your family in my dua. Much love, Bouchra (Spain).

    ReplyDelete
  6. May Allah have mercy on us in our graves. Ameen.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Assalamu alaikum warahmatu Allahi wabarakatuHu,
    I am so sorry for your loss dearie :(
    I pray for you all to survive this hardship and grant you patience and guidance, amen!
    This is a big loss for the world too!
    Bless your hearts,
    Respectfully,

    ReplyDelete
  8. Assalamu alalikum sister... I was reading your post of today and then came back to read here... Innalillahi wainna ilahi raajioon... My eyes are welled up and my heart is aching, but Allah is the best of planners and I am sure He has the best for you... May Allah make it easy for you and join both of you in His Jannah...

    ReplyDelete

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