For The One Who Feels Like An Imperfect Homemaker

 As salamu alaykum & greetings,

Lately I have been feeling the need to write about this topic. We know that no one is perfect. Some days are difficult, and we make mistakes.

One of the key things I wanted to share with you is: do not be hard on yourself. I know it is easier said than done, and while we live in a society where on the outside people look like they have it all together and life is perfect-- the reality is-- we all have our moments in our homemaking where we do not feel at our best.

I've run into many women over the years that thought I was so perfect. I am FAR from it my friend. I have to check my intentions daily and keep going. 

It is so easy to drown in the wave of "I'm not good enough." or  "I'm doing a horrible job at this."

I wish you could see that what you are doing is such a big help and blessing to your home. What seems like nothing is really something. 

Can I tell you something else?

You are not alone. There is no such thing as a perfect homemaker. But what is important are your intentions and what you strive for. Every day wake up and pray, Ask your Lord for help and tell yourself positive words, remember your intentions through the day and by all means have mercy on yourself.

The meals may not always come out right, you may not have a sparkly house that day, you may fall behind on your household blessings, and you may have a rough day but what you may not do is tell yourself you aren't good enough and that your effort is pointless.

We've all been there and if no one else tells you, you'll read it here-- that you are invaluable. Seriously! Even in your imperfect self, Allah uses you on a daily basis for a service that is beneficial beyond what we can see. He chose you and His plan and His ways are better than ours and He knows better than us. Let us not challenge His decision by even thinking "I don't belong here." because in hindsight that is what we are doing when we question the position we are in. 

We learn from our mistakes, we learn from our bad days, we grow through it all. Prayerfully at the end we come out stronger, yet gentler, more understanding, merciful, and with a spirit of service that will help other women who have been where we all have been.

What we can do is ask Him to show us how to handle these tasks, the weight isn't heavy, we might just be carrying it wrong. 

Some things you can do when you feels her imperfect ways the hardest:

1. ALWAYS talk to Allah-- dhikr, make duaa, and pray. He is The One we can cry to at anytime, who can ease our troubled hearts and show us the way to go. No one mends the hurting heart like The One who created it.

2. Homemaking support- A friend who can give an uplifting word and a hand to hold on this journey is a friend everyone should have. The road is tough, but along the path we can meet and travel with people who will make the journey a bit easier.

3. Rest- No one needs to overwork themselves at all. And as I always say, to be at your best and give your best--- you must rest! When you feel yourself having a hard day, getting emotionally exhausted-- take a step back and breathe in deeply slowly, step outside, take a nap if you can,  or just simply sit.

4. Read something encouraging (hint hint-- this blog!) or read some motivational quotes, listen to an audio-- something that is uplifting for your heart.

I pray my words have helped in some kind of way. I know there has been many days that I needed to do all the above things and I still do.

Feel free to reach out to me on the blog anytime.