We sat down and wrote our marriage vision statement.
What is a marriage vision statement? It's how we see our marriage, what we intend to do and fulfill ... then we add an ayat or hadith to solidify our purpose. Also a reminder that this is what Allah wants from us.
Our marriage vision statement:
We are committed helpers to each other
We resolve to keep Allah in our relationship
We are to support each other
We are not to be difficult
We are here to serve each other
We pray for each other
We pray together
We added the following hadith to make firm our vision, and remind us this is what Allah would be pleased with:
Prophet Muhammad sallAllahu alayhi wa salaam said, “Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of the people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects: a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for his subjects, a woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and of his children and is responsible for them. Surely, everyone of you is a shepherd and responsible for his flock.”-- Hadith
Aisha - may Allah be pleased with her- said that whenever Prophet Muhammad salAllahu alayhi wa salaam had to choose between things he chose the easier way he did not chose the difficult way-- Sahih Bukhari
"If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers."-- Prophet Mmuhammad salAllahu alayhi wa salaam in his last khutbah
So... here we are, our vision for our marriage is in front of us, we can see it clearly, and we are praying it will remind us of what we are looking for from each other and what we should give from ourselves too. You cannot expect something of your spouse and are not giving it.
I want my husband to be supportive and helpful, and I have to remind myself I should be the same as well.
In prayers that we will grow in our marriage, our children will benefit, our society and more importantly our Lord is pleased, and we did not make the Devil happy, auothbillah!