Love In Marriage

I was recently reflecting on love, and how love is such an amazing experience.

The thing about love is that there is enough for everyone. The experience can vary from person to person. Every love brings something unique to your heart. I see love like I see snowflakes. Beautiful and different.... not exactly alike. The love for my late husband would never be the same with anyone else... because no one else is the same as him.  

Love is to be felt, on every level of our being... it's physical, it's emotional, it's mental and spiritual.... what other way is there to experience love?

If you aren't experiencing love on every level... then what are you experiencing? Something that's on the surface... it can get much deeper though.

Love is freedom, it doesn't hinder, it doesn't stifle who we are. It liberates us... and inspires us... believes and uplifts... it's a key... it's an awakening... anything opposite is not love in my opinion. 

Just my thoughts and experience...  

Having been married for 10 years, I had a lot to learn about love and what it means. I am still learning, as I reflect on my experience, even now as a widow.

How can you experience love on every level of your marriage?

Love is physical- love can be felt. Of course right!! But do you truly understand the blessing of the physical touch? It is such a blessing from Allah and He only allows the intimate touch to be between a husband and wife... no boyfriend, or girlfriend.. none of that... it is reserved for the marital union. So if you and your spouse are not truly enjoying and benefiting from that physical aspect of love, you are depriving each other of something you cannot get anywhere else!

The touch of a person you love is so important. Every day you should touch your spouse. Hug him, kiss him, give gentle touches of affection. A marriage that is absent of touch is absent of one of the levels of love, that is needed to help a relationship blossom. My husband used to tell me about how people are touch deprived... void of that much needed human touch. Some ways you can reach out and touch your spouse:

High Five

Hug

Kiss

Rub on the back

Caress their cheek

Rub their head

What can you add to this list? This could go on and on and there are many ways to show our love physically.

Love is emotional- love is an emotional connection. How do you express your love? Saying I love you, I want you, I adore you are all different ways to express your feelings each day for your spouse. Never go too long without saying how you feel. We simply need to hear it. It makes your day and your spouses day to know that there is someone in their life that makes them feel like they are important and loved. What can you say?:

I love you

I adore you

I think you are amazing

You are appreciated 

I feel happy with you

You are a blessing

Having loving nicknames and little inside jokes that only you two share. Can you think of different ways to express your love? Something as simple as saying "thank you" should never be underestimated and taken for granted.

Love is spiritual- Love is a gift from a very loving God. SubhanAllah, He tells us so much about love.

"You will not enter Paradise until you believe and you will not believe until you love each other. Shall I show you something that, if you did, you would love each other? Spread peace between yourselves."

Looks of love, giving each other peace.... We are told we should do this and it will increase in our love for one another.  Showing gratitude to Allah for this gift,  by doing the various acts needed to foster and grow this love. Remember that He placed this love between you and your spouse.  Praying together, reading Quran together, making duaa together and for each other are all spiritual acts that increase the love

Love is mental- oooooh gosh it is great when two people can connect intellectually. Reading books together, discussing events, discussing the latest findings and having someone that can show interest is a blessing. How do you respond when your spouse shares something that interests him (or her)? Do you roll your eyes, do you pay half attention or do you actively engage in conversation about it? When the love of your life, takes time to share what gives him joy, respond with interest and ask questions. They want you to ask and respond... they wouldn't tell you about it if they didn't want you to be interested. 

Experience love deeper than the surface. What a gift and joy that feeling called love. When nurtured and valued, can increase! 

Just some thoughts of love.... figured you all would love that ;)

Thank you for reading and may He continuously bless you all in your life and in your marriages ameen. May Allah reward my late husband for showing me what love means on every level. Ameen 

I am thankful for the experience. I miss him deeply

Here's to love... may we all experience it, give it, and be thankful for it

-Ameera