Making Your Home A Haven

This year, is the first year I am doing things on my own. With my husband (rahimahullah) no longer here physically with me, I am experiencing many feelings, new challenges and it is quite a journey.


Homemaking has become even more important, as the children adjust to our home changes, I have to continue to make it a place, where they feel love, light, ease, peace and the presence of God.
Every day we put effort into adjusting to our new changes.

How can you  make your home a haven?

Well what is a haven?  a haven is defined as a place of safety or refuge. A sanctuary, a place offering favorable opportunities or conditions..etc

A place of prayer- Praying together, not only is it a beautiful way to connect to God, but it is a great way to connect to your family. Keeping God first in your home is a way to feel God's presence. If you are not making mention of Him daily, then your home will feel a void. And only God can fill it. The hearts won't be at ease if you're not remembering Him, because God says "Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace." (13:28). Our home is a place of peace, and prayer brings that peace and that connection. We are women of prayer, we should be constantly in a state of remembrance... and gently guiding our families to do the same. Whether it is saying duaas before you eat, when you leave out the door, when you get in the car.... as the hadith goes ‘Let not your tongue cease to be moist with the remembrance of Allah, mighty is He and majestic.’


A place of love- Your husband goes out to work, your children go to school and when they come home from the world that can be a bit tough and some days unpleasant, a place where they should never feel a lack of love, is their home. Love can be said and it can be shown. Never let a day go by where you have not hugged your love ones, or let them know how much you love them. Encouraging words should be said daily and asking how one's day was. These are things that we can do to make our home a much more pleasant place. Leave love notes in the places you know your family members will find them. We are the heart of the home, we keep it beating and what emanates from the heart is important. Are we sending out love or are we sending out negative feelings. Of course not every day is perfect, and there are many days (lately) where I am having a difficult time in my widowhood, but I also remind myself that there is something good in every day. I strive to make that my focus and not dwell in the sadness and pain too long. Frustration and sadness and feeling overwhelmed, these things happen... but if you go back to point one, and also not stay in those moments for too long, than God willing things will get better.

A place that is comfortable, right now I am in the process of painting because the colors in my home, put me in a not so cheerful space. Liven up your home by adding decorations, or  rid your home of the clutter that may be pilling up in your home. You want it to flow with good energy and good feelings, and not be stuck in the clutter which creates a crowded feeling. Me and the children decided to add some vibrant and soft colors in the rooms, they found joy in picking their paint and painting their room. What does your home say to you when you walk in? Does it feel comfortable? Does it feel welcoming? Does it feel freeing? If not, then it is a good time to make some changes in your home. Look at your local thrift store and see the treasures that others gave away is there. For me, I needed to change the colors and so far, it has added to making our a home a much more comfortable place. Have plants around your home, or start a garden. Very therapeutic


A place that nourishes the body well. Yep, because we are entrusted with our gifts, and like beautiful plants in the garden, they need proper nourishing. Nourishing the body, our body's are our vehicles, they help us get around and need to fuel up on goodness. Good food, good love, and lots of positive attention. A haven is a place of safety and refuge, the souls that enter and exit your home on a daily basis should feel nourished, as this is part of being a place of safety. We are responsible for doing our best in keeping our family healthy, and keeping their bodies strong .... what we put on their plate should be done with an act of love, and care for their well being.

I remember years ago, when my family had to move to a family shelter. It was one of the hardest  things I had to do. In order for us to not get so bummed out and depressed about this big change in our lives, every day I made sure everyone was comfortable and happy. And subhanAllah it worked, we didn't have that many children at the time, but everyone was comfortable and happy. It was part of how I got more into homemaking. I was tested in making my environment a haven, even in not so perfect conditions. I looked towards the good of the situation, we had a place to live, we had food to eat, we were all together, and it was not worse.
Interesting how some experiences can be a big part of who you are today. I wrote my first homemaking book while living in the shelter. I was tested in my homemaking in that situation. It was not easy, but it was a time in my life that I wrote one of my favorite books mashaAllah alhamdulilah. God is great right?!!


How can you make your home a haven?